stay curious Archives - Amazing Health Advances https://amazinghealthadvances.net/tag/stay-curious/ Your hub for fresh-picked health and wellness info Fri, 19 Nov 2021 01:04:11 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.8.1 https://amazinghealthadvances.net/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/AHA_Gradient_Bowl-150x150.jpg stay curious Archives - Amazing Health Advances https://amazinghealthadvances.net/tag/stay-curious/ 32 32 The Difference Between Toxic and Healthy Boundaries https://amazinghealthadvances.net/the-difference-between-toxic-and-healthy-boundaries-7692/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=the-difference-between-toxic-and-healthy-boundaries-7692 https://amazinghealthadvances.net/the-difference-between-toxic-and-healthy-boundaries-7692/#respond Fri, 19 Nov 2021 08:00:36 +0000 https://amazinghealthadvances.net/?p=13392 Dr. Caroline Leaf – In this podcast (episode #330) and blog, I discuss boundaries: what they are, why they are important, and how to create healthy boundaries in your life and relationships.  There is so much information out there about boundaries, especially on social media these days. But even though there is a lot of great infographics and articles available, boundaries can still be quite confusing. What exactly does it mean to have a boundary? Why do we need them? How do we know when a boundary becomes unhealthy? What is the difference between good and bad boundaries? I think one of the best ways to think about boundaries is using three different glasses and a small stone. One glass is tiny, like a shot glass; one glass is a tumbler; the last glass is a like a mason jar. In the shot glass, the little stone takes up a lot of room. In the glass tumbler, the stone takes up less room. And in the mason jar, the stone takes up hardly any room. See this stone as an issue you are dealing with, such as a toxic person in your family, at work or at school. This issue is very real, just like the stone is real. And, if you feel like you need a boundary, this means that you feel that this person or people are invading your personal space, which can have real physical and mental repercussions. In fact, every interaction with this person adds more and more toxicity to this issue. (This is at the heart of what it means to be “triggered”.) The issue gets bigger and bigger in your mind, which has a greater impact on your wellbeing. Issues don’t just stay in our mind and brain, it affects our entire person. A healthy way to deal with this “stone” and put up boundaries involves creating space around the issue, not allow it to get any bigger. This allows us to gain perspective, which then enables us to get to the root cause of the issue and work on managing and reconcepualizing it, as I discuss in my book Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess and my app Neurocycle. You can’t fix or change the person who is impacting you in a negative way; you can only take responsibility for your own response – that is, what you choose to do and how you choose to respond. This means, using the analogy of the glasses, moving the rock from the shot glass, where it is taking up all that space in your life and is all-consuming, to the tumbler glass, where you have more space and perspective to work on it. Then, you eventually move it to the mason jar glass, where, through healthy boundaries, it no longer defines you or your wellbeing. Here, you have had enough space to work on it and get to the root cause(s), and you are learning how to manage its impact in your life and deal with the person or people affecting you in a healthy way. You are working towards resolving the issue and finding the best way to move forward FOR YOU. Some examples of ways to do this are: Agree to disagree with someone: create space/distance, which will allow you to process and learn how to manage this disagreement by choosing to opt out of the conversation in the moment or for the near future. But be specific! How will you create this space? For how long? Why? What will it look like if you eventually choose to interact with that person in the future? Or if you choose to no longer have a relationship with them? Use space/distance to examine why you feel the way you do: ask yourself questions! Why were you triggered? Why did you show up or react in this way? How do you see yourself and this issue? Why did this person who triggered you react the way they did? What may be going on in their life that is affecting how they respond to you? Are they responding this way because they don’t like you, or because they are going through something challenging? An unhealthy way of creating boundaries, on the other hand, means putting up a wall to keep that person or people out of your life without creating space for dealing with the issue in your own life. This means that that stone is still in the shot glass, which you have only moved some distance away. You haven’t created space to work on the issue in your own life, and you haven’t found a way to resolve the problem and move on. It is still there, but you are just trying to ignore it, which never works! In this confined space (the stone in small glass), there is no room to see clearly—the emotional information dominates your interactions, potentially impacting your mental and physical wellbeing, as well as your relationships. When you create a healthy boundary, the issue stays the same, but a boundary creates the space you need to look at the issue differently, work on it and reconceptualize it over time, thereby finding a way forward. This is key! Even if the person who triggered you remains toxic, you can still control how they affect you, which is incredibly empowering. Hopefully, the way you are managing yourself and becoming less reactive will impact them, and they too will recognize that they need to create space to work on themselves! To read the original article click here.

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]]> https://amazinghealthadvances.net/the-difference-between-toxic-and-healthy-boundaries-7692/feed/ 0 How to Make the Most of Your Time in Self-Quarantine, Overcome Boredom and Build Your Brain https://amazinghealthadvances.net/how-to-make-the-most-of-your-time-in-self-quarantine-overcome-boredom-and-build-your-brain-6440/#utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=how-to-make-the-most-of-your-time-in-self-quarantine-overcome-boredom-and-build-your-brain-6440 https://amazinghealthadvances.net/how-to-make-the-most-of-your-time-in-self-quarantine-overcome-boredom-and-build-your-brain-6440/#respond Mon, 30 Mar 2020 07:00:53 +0000 http://amazinghealthadvances.net/?p=8355 Dr. Caroline Leaf – Many of us are stuck at home right now, and all our usual activities are either cancelled or forbidden. So, how do we make the best of a difficult situation? How do we turn our stress and anxiety into productivity? As coronavirus continues to spread across Israel, researchers have come up with a method to predict outbreaks before they occur using online surveys to assess the development of symptoms in the population. When we focus on ways to build our brain instead of panicking about current events or what we just heard on the news, we actually increase our cognitive resilience and ability to cope. Just like working out strengthens our body, preparing us for physical action, working out our “thinking muscle” prepares the mind for what may come, including scary, stressful situations at home or in our community. As we think deeply and build good, healthy memories, we are essentially buttressing the brain, so that when we do face challenges, we are more prepared to deal with them and not let them upset our inner peace and happiness. Indeed, deep thinking and learnings is important because every morning we wake up with a bunch of new nerve cells (this is called neurogenesis) that are ready to be used. When we are curious and feel the drive to learn and think deeply about what interests us, or have important and stimulating conversations with the people in our lives, we build these new nerve cells into our brain, strengthening the overall health of the brain and improving our mood and clarity. When we don’t use these brain cells correctly through lazy thinking and isolation, however, they can become toxic waste in the brain, which will affect our ability to think well and our mood. Deep thinking and learning also stimulates our imagination and helps us see multiple possibilities in any given situation—even during a global pandemic! Instead of fearing uncertainty, we can get excited and happy about the future because we are not locked into plans that might not go as, well, planned. This helps reduce fear of the unknown, giving us the self-confidence to keep learning when faced with a challenge: we don’t fear not knowing something because we can learn. We don’t stop ourselves from moving forward; we don’t get trapped in a box and let the circumstances of life define our happiness. We begin to realize that, when it comes to our life, there is no “box”. So, every day, choose to be curious. Think of ways you can challenge your brain: 1. Make a list of books you have been meaning to read, and schedule in time to read them! If you are not a big reader, or if you list is really long, you may be interested in the app Blinkist, which teaches you key ideas from thousands of bestselling non-fiction books in a short period of time (for free week see https://blinkist.com/drleaf). Audiobooks are also great if you are not a big reader, if you are doing things around the house or exercising. I love Audible, which also offers original audiobooks like Caffeine by Michael Pollan, which I just listened to and highly recommend! 2. Start a virtual book club! You don’t have to meet in person to enjoy books together; just schedule a Zoom/Facetime/Skype/video call to discuss the book you are reading! 3. Listen to podcasts. Some of my favorite ones to listen to are: The Daily The Intelligence The Dream Post Reports Stuff You Should Know History Extra Podcast NPR Life Kit The New Yorker Radio Hour Beyond Today The TED Interview Outlook Swindled Mad in America TED Radio Hour. However, make sure you don’t listen to too many news podcasts, which can be quite stressful during this period! 4. Take online courses. Many of these are free, such as those offered by Future Learn and Coursera, and are based on courses offered at Ivy League universities. YouTube also has a great selecting of lectures and courses, so check them out! 5. Make thinker moments a priority. “Thinker moments”, when you take time to switch off to the external and switch on to the internal and just let your mind wander and daydream, give the brain a rest and allow it to reboot and heal, which increases your clarity of mind and ability to problem-solve when face with a tough situation (which we all need right now!) So, be intentional about creating “thinker” breaks throughout your day by taking a few moments every day, or when you are feeling stressed out, to switch off and just daydream or meditate. For more information on thinker moments and how to make them a part of your daily routine, see my book, Think, Learn, Succeed. 6. Learn a new language! There are many great online programs available, such as Rosetta Stone and Berlitz, as well as language learning apps like Duolingo, which are fun to use and often free to download. 7. Take up a new hobby like painting, cooking, building furniture, playing with Lego blocks, dancing, playing a musical instrument, knitting or drawing. Creativity can have real, positive effects on the physical health of the brain and on our overall mental health, and has the potential to heal damage from toxic thinking and toxic lifestyles. This, in turn, can improve both our physical and mental health by giving us a deeper perspective and reducing feelings of depression and anxiety. Make time to do what you enjoy doing, and watch your brain health improve! 8. Spring clean! A clean, orderly environment does wonders for our mental health, and can help you feel less oppressed by your surroundings if you are spending a lot of time indoors. 9. Start a vegetable garden, if you have the space! Not only will this save you from stressful grocery runs in the future, but it is also incredibly therapeutic! Don’t know where to start? Square foot gardening is a great place to start if you have never had a vegetable garden before; it requires little space and can be set up on almost any surface. You can also use this method of gardening for small herb gardens, container gardens or wall gardens! Thankfully, many hardware stores are open even if where you live is under shut down, and you can also order supplies online through distributors like Amazon and Home Depot. 10. Join online exercise classes, find free exercise videos on YouTube, go for a walk/run/bike ride outside if possible, or just move around your house and apartment in fun and interesting ways, like dancing up and down the stairs or crawling from room to room. I cannot say this enough: exercise does wonders for our mental and physical health, and can dramatically improve our mood and help us deal with stressful situations. For more on the mental and physical benefits of exercise see my recent blog and podcast. 11. Explore the world through your computer! Yes, many of us are stuck at home and can’t travel anywhere, we can still explore the wonders of earth through our computer with Google Earth! 12. Watch enriching TV programs like documentaries (we love National Geographic!) and The Great Courses (which are now available on Amazon Prime Video and as audiobooks on Audible). 13. Watch your favorite TV show or movie, but take notes! Think of the way the music matches the scene, or the development of a character, or the use of narrative time. How do these stories draw us in and keep us hooked? How do they reflect reality? Is there a deeper message here? You can even start a video chat club that, like a book club, watches movies or TV shows and discusses their significance together. If you are at home with children, a lot of these suggestions work for them as well, so make it a family affair! For more information on building the brain and how it can boost your mental health, see my book Think, Learn, Succeed. To read the original article click here. For more articles from Dr. Leaf click here.

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