parenting philosophy Archives - Amazing Health Advances

The Hidden Cost of Entrepreneurship on Parenting

The AHA! Team — Wed, 02 Jul 2025 05:05:15 +0000

Abigail Klein Leichman via Israel21c – New survey reveals CEOs have it hard, CTOs find the balance, and surprise, surprise, it’s the toughest of all for women. Racheli Kogan is a partner at the Symbol VC fund. Her husband, Ohad Bobrov of Palo Alto Networks, is a serial entrepreneur with several successful exits to his credit. This Israeli power couple has two daughters, ages 10 and eight. “In the first years of Ohad’s entrepreneurship, we definitely had a lot of difficulties and disagreements” regarding parenting, Kogan tells ISRAEL21c. Kogan surveyed 98 founder parents Curious about how other entrepreneurs balance family responsibilities, especially in wartime, Kogan surveyed 98 founder parents – men and women, CEOs and non CEOs, early and later stages – to gain a nuanced understanding of the intersection of parenting and entrepreneurship. “Founders sometimes talk about their startup as if it were a child they are raising, which is not surprising given the intensity involved,” says Kogan, who always worked outside the home and currently puts in eight to nine hours per day. “We also know that for many, this intensity is a cause for worry when thinking about raising actual children – will they have time? Will they be able to balance the two? How do others do it?” The survey emerged from research at Symbol on women’s entrepreneurship. “I’ve been busy for some time trying to understand why there are so few women entrepreneurs and how we can increase this number. We saw that many of their stories were intertwined with family considerations,” Kogan says. “So we wanted to understand more deeply the experience of male entrepreneurs who are fathers. We were also very interested in what differences there are between female entrepreneurs who are mothers and male entrepreneurs who are fathers. I couldn’t find any data on this topic — absolutely zero. This was surprising specially in Israel, a country where parenting is such a central thing.” Some of the questions Kogan sought to answer: Is working as an entrepreneur really the most demanding job that requires more hours than any other senior position? Do you improve over time in your ability to juggle between the children and the startup? To what extent is parenting really affected, both in subjective feelings and in calculating the number of hours you spend with the children? “We felt that providing data and detailed information about what is actually happening might help those who are considering embarking on the entrepreneurial path but are concerned that it is difficult to combine it with a family,” says Kogan. She hoped this data “would also provide some normalization for the entrepreneurs who filled out the survey.” CTOs vs. CEOs Perhaps the clearest message from the survey results is that chief technology officers (CTOs) seem to have more balanced lives than do chief executive officers (CEOs). CTOs are more satisfied with their work-life balance than CEOs, with 43% saying that they were very or extremely satisfied compared to 32% of CEOs. No CTOs reported that their work-life balance juggle had gotten worse since founding their startup, compared to 18% of CEOs who felt that way. CTOs are more likely to say that their time with kids stayed the same or increased since becoming a founder (43% vs. 19% for CEOs). CTOs (57%) are more likely than CEOs (45%) to pick up their children from daycare or school at least twice a week. Picking up from gan & school While most founders of both sexes say they make sure to attend their kids’ events (64% get to almost every event; 30% go to around half), 51% of CEOs go to almost every event compared with 71% of CTOs. Whereas 43% of CEO who are parents cited guilt feelings as a challenge, only 29% of CTOs did so. One-third of CTOs reported very little impact of work pressure on their relationship with the kids and none reported that they experienced an extreme impact. In contrast, 25% of CEOs cited the highest level of impact. Men vs. women “There are definitely differences by gender,” says Kogan. “Women are more likely to report feeling guilt about their dual role and pick up the children from school/gan significantly more often. Men are more likely than women to try and avoid late nights and business travel and to worry about time management with their children. Perhaps this is a different version of guilt.” Business trips & late nights While most founders are part of the pickup schedule for their kids, it varies by gender: 60% of female founders pick their kids up at least twice a week vs. 45% of male founders; and 39% of female founders vs. 9% of male founders pick up from school three times a week. Only 14% of females and 23% of males don’t pick up their kids at all, though this may be because their children are older. Women are more likely to prioritize work commitments than their male counterparts (25% of women vs. 4% of men). Among female founder parents, 61% cite guilt as their main challenge and time management as their second-place challenge (43%). For men, the greatest challenge is time management (63%) and tensions with partners is in second place with 41% (women cite this factor 29% of the time). Parent-founder challenges While 65% of male founders reported success in improving their ability to juggle work and family, only 29% of women felt they’d managed an improvement. Only 29% of respondents report dissatisfaction with their work-life balance. However, 36% of female respondents chose the lowest ratings on a five-point scale as compared to 26% of men. Male vs. female findings Kogan says the male vs. female finding that most surprised her was that although entrepreneurial mothers consider themselves “maximally committed to children and also maximally committed to the startup,” their answers revealed that “they would almost always give up things related to children and would not postpone work trips or meetings for things related to children, much more than men.” This might be due to the need many women have to prove their commitment to being a founder, Kogan speculates. Other key findings Founder parents of both sexes are more likely to report a decrease in time spent with their kids since becoming a founder (68%) vs. an increase in time spent (13%). Twenty percent report that their time with their kids didn’t change since becoming a founder. Earlier stage founders (pre seed and seed) are somewhat more likely to take late night calls and go on business trips (19% vs. 29%). The majority of respondents reported that the pressure of being a founder impacted their connection with their kids to some extent. Around 4% of both genders report an extreme negative impact on their relationship with their children and around 30% of each group reported a relatively low impact. Only 19% of respondents feel that they are able to mostly disconnect from work when they are with their kids. Most respondents – 76% – report that they are only able to disconnect a little or somewhat and 11% are not able to disconnect at all. Most respondents report an improvement in their ability to juggle startup and family life over time, with 61% saying it has either somewhat or significantly improved. For 20% there has been no improvement and another 15% report that their ability to juggle has gotten worse since founding their startup. Kogan’s takeaways “The data made me happy and pleasantly surprised to see that more than 50 percent of the entrepreneurs collect their children more than twice a week and also do not give up on significant events for the children,” says Kogan. At the same time, “there is broad agreement that the founder role is more demanding than other executive roles. This holds largely true across roles — CEO vs. CTO — and when analyzed by gender.” To read the original article click here.

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How To Manage Parent Guilt, Burn-Out & Fatigue

The AHA! Team — Fri, 07 Jun 2024 08:45:29 +0000

Dr. Caroline Leaf – In this podcast (episode #499) and blog, I talk to Hettie, a concerned mother, about balancing work and play time with her children, especially as a homeschooling mom. This is part of a series I am doing on questions you submitted for my new book on children’s mental health. This was Hettie’s question: “I’m part of an avid homeschooling community. Homeschooling moms like me tend to be “always on; always teaching.” It can lead to schooling burnout, and it does! How can we give ourselves and our children a better balance between working our brain, resting our brain, and letting our brain play?” First, it is important to understand that, as parents and guardians, we deserve to rest! This is especially the case if we are homeschooling our children as — in this case, we are not just parents but educators as well. Work-life balance is not just important for our children. We cannot give our best and be there for our children if we are overwhelmed, burnt out and running on empty. This is something I have spoken of on my podcast before, which I call the “oxygen mask principle”. As parents, we need to help ourselves before we can effectively help our children, which includes scheduling in periods of self-care so that our minds, brains and bodies have time to rest and recharge. We need to recognize that although the mind is infinite, the brain is finite, and it needs rest to function well. We can only give our best when we are rested, which is why it is so important that we learn how to be okay with doing nothing as parents. (This takes some practice, especially if you constantly feel the need to do something!) It is important to remember that our children pick up on our emotions and behaviors. If we are stressed out, overwhelmed or upset because we have not given ourselves enough time to rest and reboot, then this can affect our children’s mental health and performance. On the other hand, when we take the time to invest in our self-care as parents, and we explain to our children why this is important, we teach them an invaluable life-skill. This, in turn, will help them learn how to build and maintain their own resilience as both children and adults. Finding the right work-play-rest balance is not just something we should teach our children. It is something we need to model in our own lives. As mentioned, children observe us and pick up on our feelings and behaviors. This means that we do and say, or what we don’t do or say, can affect their wellbeing as well. So, taking care of ourselves and our mental health is not just a “nice” thing to do. It is imperative if we want our children to grow up understanding that life is about balance and that their health is important. For more on parenting and children’s mental health, listen to my podcast (episode #499). Podcast Highlights 3:36 The challenges of homeschooling & balancing work and rest 4:35, 6:47 The importance of self-care as a parent 7:45 How burnout affects the mind-brain-body connection 13:34 How our mood & emotions can affect our children 18:00 Tips to maintain a good work-life balance as a parent 21:30 The importance of teaching our children about mental health & self-care from youth This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional. To read the original article click here.

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How To Help Your Anxious Child + Tips For Raising Mentally Strong Children

AHA Publisher — Mon, 24 Aug 2020 07:00:34 +0000

Dr. Caroline Leaf – Being a parent can be challenging, especially when it comes to teaching your child how to handle the hard stuff in life. There is a thin line between being overprotective and being overcritical, and often there are situations where doing or saying the right thing seems impossible. In this week’s blog and podcast, I speak with child psychologist and best-selling author Dr. Tina Payne Bryson about why we need to let our children experience negative emotions like anxiety and irritation, how to show up when your child is struggling, common parenting mistakes we all make and how we can avoid them, the importance of modeling behaviors as a parent or guardian, the difference between discipline and punishment, and what it means to take a mind-based approach to parenting. Over the past several decades, more and more research on the mind and brain has shown us that we have a lot more power to change our lives than we ever thought we did, even when it comes to parenting. As Dr. Bryson points out, when we start using our mind to think about the way we interact without children, asking more “why” questions and trying to figure out how to teach our child to regulate their feelings and responses, this can help us avoid common parenting mistakes like: 1. Just focusing on the behavior. One of the biggest mistakes we make as parents is that we focus too much on the behavior of the child and not enough on the mind behind the behavior. We should always be chasing the “why”. We need to investigate what is going on so we can treat the issue correctly; we need to peel the “layers” back. 2. Confusing punishment and discipline. We need to rethink discipline, and recognize that most of the time kids are doing the best they can. When our children are not doing well, then we need to approach the situation with curiosity, not just anger. What is going on? Why are the acting that way or saying those things? A disciplinarian should be a teacher and skill-builder, not a punisher. We shouldn’t punish kids for things they cannot help. The big question is, do they have skills to deal with this situation? What is their behavior telling us? It is important to remember that behaviors communicate the skills they need to learn. We need to stop punishing kids for things they don’t know how to do differently, which only makes them more anxious and upset. When it comes to discipline, we are so focused on behavior that we forget to pay attention to regulation, or what strategies we can teach children so that they can do better next time. Compliance through punishment or rewards does not mean success. Regulation means success—it gets to the “why” behind certain behaviors and teaches the child to cope and builds resilience by addressing the root of their feelings and behavior. 3. Not being on the same page. It is rare that two parents or guardians have an intentional and similar philosophy when it comes to discipline; most parents react in the moment. However, it is important that we take the time to get on the same page when it comes to how we choose to discipline our children. When there is a lot of conflict and confusion, it can undermine a child’s overall happiness. If you are parenting in response to the other parent’s reactions, you are not responding to the needs of the child. That does not mean you need to say and do the exact same thing as your partner or spouse. As Dr. Bryson notes, it is good for kids to learn how to manage different reactions and personalities. On the other hand, it is helpful if you talk to your co-parent about your discipline philosophy and get on the same page in terms of what you want for your kids and what you want your kids to become. This also means facing and dealing with your own childhood experiences. Are you repeating patterns from your own childhood, or trying to do things different without really examining your past experiences and what they mean? How has your childhood impacted you? How is your background affecting your parenting style? What is the mind behind your situation? When you can answer these questions, then you can learn how to resolve issues together as parents. 4. Pathologizing negative emotions and experiences. In our society, we tend to pathologize normal human emotions like grief and sadness, which has made us more fragile. We need to give ourselves and our children permission to feel and be uncomfortable, because life is full of uncertainty and challenges. Indeed, if we try to protect our children from negative emotions like sadness or anxiety, rather than teaching them that this is part of life and building up their resilience, we send them signals that we don’t trust that they can handle the situation, which will undermine their view of themselves and set them up for failure in the future. When your child is struggling, show up in the moment and allow them to feel what they feel. Don’t minimize how they feel, punish them or criticize their experiences. Say things like “I know this is hard” and “we will figure this out together”. Celebrate these feelings; teach your child that these emotions are normal and are telling them that something needs to be addressed in their life. This will help them build up their resilience and teach them how to cope with the ups and downs of life. As Dr. Bryson notes in her book The Power of Showing Up, being present in this way creates a safe environment where the child can learn how to be independent. It is important to remember that kids move towards independence when they feel safe enough to do so. If most of their experiences teach them that they are “safe, seen, soothed and secure”, this will help them build up their mental capacity and resilience, teaching them to cope and soothe themselves and others during hard times. It also affects what they seek out in a relationship, because their repeated experiences have taught them the value of feeling safe and secure in a relationship. This kind of parenting style does not mean that we won’t make mistakes from time to time. As parents, we don’t have to be perfect all the time. We need to look at the big picture: what are the majority of our child’s experiences teaching them? In fact, when we mess up and apologize, this is a good thing! We can model the real life “messiness” of relationships for our children, so the they too can model it in their own relationships. To read the original article click here. For more articles from Dr. Leaf click here.

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