managing mental health Archives - Amazing Health Advances

It’s Okay Not To Be Okay

The AHA! Team — Fri, 08 Nov 2024 06:13:29 +0000

Dr. Caroline Leaf – In this podcast (episode #594) and blog, I talk about the 100% happiness fallacy, and why learning how to embrace your pain and rewrite your story is an important part of being truly happy. This is a replay of a Neurolive webinar I did on my app. For the full webinar AD-free, please see Neurocycle.app or look for Neurocycle on the App Store or Google Play. Does it feel to you like you have to be happy all the time? Often, it feels like happiness and being positive is touted as the wonder drug to solve our problems. It is easy to feel like there is something wrong with you if you are not as happy as other people seem to be! Yes, being happy and optimistic can have a positive impact on our minds, brain and body, but thinking happy thoughts doesn’t just eliminate whatever we are going through. To truly heal and find some measure of intrinsic happiness, we must move beyond positive affirmations and thinking, and face what is holding us back through embracing, processing and reconceptualizing our past pain. If we don’t do this, we won’t truly benefit from positive psychology and happiness techniques. Using the latter before we have processed and managed what has happened to us often results in a toxic positivity cycle, where we feel bad for simply being human and try to ignore our more uncomfortable emotions, which only makes us feel worse! In fact, research indicates that pursuing happiness in a toxically positive way can impact our ability to fully embrace the human experience, with all its ups and downs and uncertainties. Our lives are infused with fragility, setbacks and unpredictability as much as they are filled with passion, excitement and joy. Using happiness or positive thinking to mask the harsh realities of life will backfire because there is no avoiding what it means to be human. An adverse emotional response to an adverse life situation is normal. It is okay to not feel okay. It is okay to not be happy all the time. An adverse emotional response to an adverse life situation is normal. Understandably, we don’t want to get stuck in a dark place, but happiness is not a bandage we can slap on all of life’s wounds and just “keep on keeping on”. It is an important part of life, yes, but it also means different things to different people, and will not take away that pain that we experience as we go through life. If you feel pressured to be happy all the time, take the time to pause and examine your thoughts. Ask yourself: Is the happiness fallacy taking up mental real estate in your mind? Do you feel guilty when you feel unhappy? Do you think that there is something wrong with you when you feel sad, upset or angry? Do you feel shame, guilt, and embarrassment if you don’t feel happy all the time? Do you often tell yourself and others that you just need to “think a positive/happy thought” if you are feeling sad, angry, or any emotion that is considered uncomfortable or negative? Do you find yourself ignoring or repressing your suffering or pain? Don’t let your guilt consume you; rather, be curious.. If you said yes to any of these or all the above, work on reframing how you see happiness and its role in your life. Don’t let your guilt consume you; rather, be curious, almost as if you were listening to a friend tell you about their thoughts. And, when you find yourself falling into a pattern of using toxic positivity to suppress your more uncomfortable emotions, pause and say out loud: “Not only is it okay for me to not feel okay, it is part of what it means to be human, and trying to be happy all the time can actually hurt me and make my pain worse.” For more on the 100% happiness fallacy and learning how to embrace your pain and rewrite your story, listen to my podcast (episode #594). Podcast Highlights 2:05 The 100% happiness fallacy 4:09 Toxic positivity can make us feel worse! 6:20 Happiness is just one part of what it means to be human 8:02 Happiness means different things to different people 11:45 Feelings of happiness are actually pretty rare! 16:00 It is easy to feel unsatisfied even when we are happy 17:50 To be happy, we also must embrace & process the hard things in life 22:32 How to be okay with not being okay Switch On Your Brain LLC. is providing this podcast as a public service. Reference to any specific viewpoint or entity does not constitute an endorsement or recommendation by our organization. The views expressed by guests are their own and their appearance on the program does not imply an endorsement of them or any entity they represent. If you have any questions about this disclaimer, please contact info@drleaf.com. This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional. To read the original article click here.

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Signs You Are Too Hard on Yourself

The AHA! Team — Fri, 27 Sep 2024 08:01:11 +0000

Dr. Caroline Leaf – In this podcast (episode #588) and blog, I talk about why being hard on yourself can cause unnecessary stress, and how to manage your self-expectations. This is a replay of a Neurolive webinar I did on my app. For the full webinar AD-free, please see Neurocycle.app look for Neurocycle on the App Store or Google Play. Being too hard on yourself can cause pressure and toxic stress. Of course, not all stress is bad. Stress can be good for you, but when you put pressure on yourself to live up to certain expectations and you don’t, this stress can become toxic, affecting your mental and physical wellbeing. It creates confusion and uses up your energy resources, throwing off your balance, much like putting too much pressure on an object can throw it off balance. Pressure is a force, and if you are going to apply force in any direction, why not apply it in a positive, uplifting direction? Why not turn this pressure into your biggest fan, encouraging your every step? To do this, it is important to recognize the main signs that you are putting too much pressure on yourself, and what to do about them: Sign 1: “I didn’t get x done.” Often, we tend to focus on what we haven’t done instead of what we have accomplished, then get stuck feeling guilty, frustrated, edgy, and like a failure. When you feel yourself falling into this way of thinking, stop and say or write down what you have done. Remind yourself of what you have achieved, and that there will be time to get the rest done tomorrow. Sign 2: “I have to have it all together.” So many of us feel like we must have it all together all the time, but this denies our humanity and the fact that we all make mistakes, mess up and get things wrong at times. When you feel like this, remind yourself that no one has it all together. And try not to compare your life to what others are doing, because the way you think and act, and your experiences, make you completely and utterly unique! You will never be able to be anyone else but you, and you are amazing, even if you are not perfect all the time. No one is! Sign 3: “I must succeed.” It is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that we must succeed at something or achieve something to be worthy. When you feel like this, remind yourself that you define your own success! There is something you can do that no one else can do. Sign 4: “I cannot make a mistake.” Even though we all make mistakes, it is easy to think that we shouldn’t mess up and that we need to get things right all the time. But it is important to recognize that our failures are often as important as our successes, and teach us important life lessons that help us grow as a person. So, next time you start beating yourself up over a mistake, ask yourself what this experience has taught you and focus on how you have grown. Sign 5: “I let everyone down.” Sometimes, it is easy to feel like we always let people down and like we are just failures. Here, it is important to remind yourself that we all fail at times, that your failures help you grow, and that, at the end of the day, life is unpredictable. We can’t always control everything to make sure things turn out well, because so much of life is out of our control. Also, remind yourself that trying your best is the only way forward, even when it doesn’t work out like planned, because you will learn and grow as a person. Sign 6: “I feel exhausted all the time.” We often take on so much and expect ourselves to do so much that we quickly find ourselves stressed out, overwhelmed and exhausted. If this sounds like you, do a lifestyle check, and ask yourself: Do I take enough breaks to recharge? Do I give my brain and body time to rest and reset? Am I having enough fun? Do I take time to take care of my mental and physical health? See what you can change in your life to give yourself the time you need to rest! This is so important for your mind, brain and body health. Sign 7: “I hardly smile anymore.” It is easy to get into a pattern of living where we are so focused on what needs to get done that we forget how to enjoy life, which can have an impact on our wellbeing. If you find yourself smiling less and forgetting why you are working yourself so hard, take a step back and think of ways to enjoy life again. Watch something funny, spend time with a loved one, or do something that makes you smile again! You can even schedule this into your day so you don’t forget to take the time to enjoy life. Sign 8: “I need to do everything perfect all the time.” If you find yourself emotionally “holding onto” the mistakes you’ve made, noticing more of what you’ve done wrong than what you’ve gotten right, and getting anxious when you do a good-but-not-perfect job, you may have fallen into the perfectionism trap, where you can’t accept your weakeness or anyone else’s. If this sounds like you, take the time to notice when you do this, and remind yourself that there is a difference between wanting to achieve certain things and thinking you need to do everything perfect all the time. Remind yourself that mistakes and learning are part of life, and that you can work hard even if you take breaks and set up self-boundaries. And, when you find yourself thinking about what you got wrong, remind yourself of what you have gotten right too! Sign 9: “I am not good enough.” Take the time to observe and analyze your internal dialogue. How do you speak to yourself? How do you think of yourself? If you are using a lot of negative, pessimistic language to describe yourself, take the time to work on the way you think about yourself. Consciously observe and write down your critical self-talk and how often it’s happening. Then, work on creating reconceptualized statements to counter this way of thinking and change the way you speak to yourself. For example, change “I wish I could be as good as…” to “I will never be able to live up to someone else’s example of success because I am unique and define my own success.” This will take time to become a habit, so make sure to practice it every day! For more on learning how to not be so hard on yourself, listen to my podcast (episode #588). Podcast Highlights 1:48 What happens when we put too much pressure on ourselves 4:35 Signs that you are too hard on yourself & how to change this 7:03 You don’t have to have it all together all the time! 12:00 Mistakes are an important part of learning & growing 17:02 The importance of resting & taking time to recharge 19:11 Why you should take a “lifestyle check” when you feel overwhelmed & exhausted 21:46 Why we should all take the time to smile more! 23:04 How to tell the difference between perfectionism & high achievement This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional. To read the original article click here.

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Seasonal Weight Gain in the Fall

The AHA! Team — Wed, 18 Sep 2024 08:13:49 +0000

Michael Greger M.D. FACLM via Nutrition Facts – SAD doesn’t just stand for the standard American diet. There’s a condition known as seasonal affective disorder that is characterized by increased appetite and cravings, as well as greater sleepiness and lethargy, that begins in autumn when light exposure starts to dwindle. This now appears to represent the far end of a normal spectrum of human behavior. We appear to eat more as the days get shorter. There is a “marked seasonal rhythm” to calorie intake with greater meal size, eating rate, hunger, and overall calorie intake in the fall. In preparation for winter, some animals hibernate, doubling their fat stores with autumnal abundance to deal with the subsequent scarcity of winter. Genes have been identified in humans that are similar to hibernation genes, which may help explain why we exhibit some of the same behaviors, and the autumn effect isn’t subtle. As you can see in the graph below and at 1:06 in my video Friday Favorites: Why People Gain Weight in the Fall, researchers calculated a 222-calorie difference between how many calories we consume in the fall versus the spring. This isn’t just because it’s colder, either, since we eat more in the fall than in the winter. It appears we’re just genetically programmed to prep for the deprivation of winter that no longer comes. It’s remarkable that, in this day and age of modern lighting and heating, our bodies would still pick up enough environmental cues of the changing seasons to have such a major influence on our eating patterns. Unsurprisingly, bright light therapy is used to treat seasonal affective disorder, nearly tripling the likelihood of remission, compared to placebo. Though it’s never been tested directly, it can’t hurt to take the dog out for some extra morning and daytime walks in the fall to try to fend off some of the coming holiday season weight gain. Bright light therapy is used to treat seasonal affective disorder People blame the holidays for overeating, but it may be that “rather than the holidays causing heightened intake, the seasonal heightening of intake in the fall may have caused the scheduling of holidays at that time.” Regardless, as you can see below and at 2:15 in my video, other “specific recommendations for the prevention of obesity and metabolic syndrome by improving the circadian system health,” based on varying degrees of evidence, include: sleeping during the night and being active during the day; sleeping enough—at least seven or eight hours a night; early to bed, early to rise; and short naps are fine. (Contrary to popular belief, daytime napping does not appear to adversely impact sleep at night.) Also recommended: avoiding bright light exposure at night; sleeping in total darkness when possible; making breakfast or lunch your biggest meal of the day; not eating or exercising right before bed; and completely avoiding eating at night. This was the last video in my chronobiology series. If you missed any of the others, check out the related posts below. Key Takeaways Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is characterized by increased appetite, cravings, sleepiness, and lethargy, starting in autumn with reduced light exposure. This aligns with a seasonal rhythm in human behavior, showing greater calorie intake, meal size, eating rate, and hunger in the fall. Human genes similar to those in animals preparing for hibernation have been identified, suggesting a genetic predisposition to seasonal eating behaviors. The body may be genetically programmed to store more fat in preparation for potential winter scarcity. Research indicates a 222-calorie difference in caloric intake between fall and spring, with increased consumption in the fall. This phenomenon cannot be solely attributed to colder temperatures, as eating in the fall exceeds eating in the winter. Despite modern lighting and heating, environmental cues still influence seasonal eating patterns. Bright light therapy, which addresses SAD, may help mitigate some of the increased calorie intake during fall. Recommendations for preventing obesity and metabolic syndrome include maintaining a healthy circadian system by sleeping during the night, being active during the day, ensuring sufficient sleep (seven to eight hours), adopting an early bedtime and waking time, taking short naps if needed, avoiding bright light exposure at night, sleeping in darkness, making breakfast or lunch the main meal, refraining from eating or exercising right before bedtime, and avoiding nighttime eating. To read the original article click here.

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How To Move on Without an Apology

The AHA! Team — Fri, 30 Aug 2024 08:59:31 +0000

Dr. Caroline Leaf – In this podcast (episode #470) and blog, I talk about how to move on without an apology. Unfortunately, there will be times in life when someone hurts you and refuses to apologize, regardless of what you say or do. Here are just a few tips to help you when this happens: -Recognize and honor what happened to you. Remind yourself that it is not just “in your head”. You don’t need someone to admit they hurt you to validate what happened to you. -Allow yourself to feel the pain and emotions. Acknowledge how the person made you feel. Their lack of apology doesn’t mean it was okay, and you can be sad or upset about it. -Put boundaries up, especially if someone keeps hurting you or taking advantage of you. You may even have to pause or end the relationship—don’t feel guilty about this. Part of keeping someone accountable may include taking away their access to you. But make sure these boundaries are healthy and not just a distraction from your pain. For more on healthy versus toxic boundaries, listen to my recent podcast. Work on forgiving the person who hurt you even if they don’t apologize -Work on forgiving the person who hurt you even if they don’t apologize to disentangle yourself from the pain. For more on this, listen to my recent podcast on forgiveness. -Explore the “why” behind your feelings, and a great way to do this is using the using the Neurocycle mind management method, which I discuss in detail in my latest book Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess and my app Neurocycle. The Neurocycle is a way to harness your thinking power that I have developed and researched over the past three decades. It has 5 steps: Gather awareness of how you feel mentally and physically when you think about what happened. Reflect on how you feel. Why do you think you feel this way? Write down your reflections to help organize your thinking. Recheck: think about what your thoughts and feelings are trying to tell you. What does it say about how you view the person/situation? What is your antidote—how will you take action to protect your mental health and take control of your story? Look for clues in your writing, then start to reconceptualize the way you are thinking about what happened and the person who hurt you. Do your active reach. This is a thought or action you need to practice daily to help you reconceptualize what you worked on in the previous steps. What are you going to do to protect your own wellbeing and boundaries? What action steps are you going to take? Remember that you can’t fix or change the person who is impacting you in a negative way—don’t try to force someone to apologize. Focus on your own response and healing. Remember that moving forward and healing doesn’t depend on someone’s apology. Don’t give that person this power over you. Remind yourself that you get to write your own story. You cannot control the circumstances of life, but you can control your reaction to what happens to you. You have power over your own story, and you do not have to stay connected to the person who harmed you. For more on moving on without an apology, listen to my podcast (episode #470). Podcast Highlights 0:50 What happens when someone hurts you & doesn’t apologize 2:08 Tips to manage your mental health when someone doesn’t apologize 5:47, 15:57 How to use mind management to heal when someone hurts you This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional. To read the original article click here.

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How Sorrow & Longing Can Make Us Whole

The AHA! Team — Mon, 22 Jul 2024 08:37:15 +0000

Dr. Caroline Leaf – In this podcast (episode #475) and blog, I talk to bestselling author and speaker Susan Cain about sorrow and mental health, embracing bittersweet moments and feelings, how longing makes us whole, her amazing new book Bittersweet, and so much more! As Susan notes in her book, bittersweetness is a tendency toward states of longing, poignancy, and sorrow, an acute awareness of passing time, and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world. It recognizes that light and dark, birth and death—bitter and sweet—are forever paired. In Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, Susan uses research, storytelling, and memoir to explore why we experience sorrow and longing and how embracing the bittersweetness at the heart of life is the true path to creativity, connection, and transcendence. She describes how a bittersweet state of mind is the quiet force that helps us transcend our personal and collective pain, whether from a death, breakup, addiction, or illness. She also explains how we can end up inflicting our own heartache on others via abuse, domination, or neglect if we don’t acknowledge it. But if we realize that all humans know—or will know—loss and suffering, we can turn toward one another. Susan calls this a “bittersweet state of mind”: the power we find in longing and sorrow and how it can shape our mental health and lives. This sense of bittersweetness, whether we are watching a sad movie, listening to a sad song, or thinking of something that has happened in the past, allows us connect on a deeper level with both ourselves and others, shaping our lives in ways that enhance the beauty of being alive—of being human. This sense of sorrow and longing also includes inherited grief. All of us carry around our own losses and sorrow, as well as grief inherited from our parents and ancestors which affects us as well. Indeed, emerging evidence shows how inherited grief even impacts our biology through epigenetics. Biological responses to environmental signals can be inherited through the generations via epigenetic markers in our genetic makeup. However, epigenetics does not mean that we are trapped by our past. Our brains are neuroplastic, which means they can change. If we remove the signal, the epigenetic mark can fade. If we choose to add a signal, on the other hand, the epigenetic mark can be activated. We are not merely our genes or biology. Our past doesn’t have to be our destiny. How we think and choose to live our lives impacts a big part of the picture, including how we let our inherited grief shape and impact us as individuals and our relationships with our parents and ancestors. Unfortunately, in our society today, there is often no room to allow for grief and sorrow. We tend to overemphasize positive thinking and overlook the power that human feelings like sadness and longing have to shape and heal us and help us grow. As we see in different religions and wisdom traditions, sadness and grief are powerful aspects of the human condition and can help us connect with some of the most fundamental parts of who we are. It is okay to experience emotions like sadness, longing and grief. It is through embracing these emotions and understanding what they are telling us about ourselves that we come to understand who we are on a deeper level. We should not just try to replace these feelings with something “positive”. It is only by going through what we experience that we can heal and grow. Especially when it comes to grief, there is a difference between moving on and moving forward. Moving on implies the need to march on—to move past something or bury what happened. Moving forward, on the other hand, acknowledges the pain and sorrow of what happened while understanding that life continues. It helps us acknowledge that who we are today has been forever changed by what happened to us, but that loss is not something that stays in the past—who we are today moves forward with the love and impact that what was lost had on our life. For more on sorrow, longing and mental health, listen to my podcast with Susan (episode #475) Podcast Highlights 1:55 Susan’s journey 5:45 What a bittersweet state of mind is & why it’s important 9:31 Epigenetics & inherited grief 17:45 The downsides of positive thinking 28:30 Mental health & sorrow 31:30 Why everyone should watch the movie Inside Out 35:30, 40:10 The difference between moving on & moving forward 45:00 How sorrow & grief can create meaningful connections 48:50 The deep joy & deep sorrow of being human This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional. To read the original article click here.

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Unwiring Perfectionism + How Flexible Thinking Can Help Reduce Anxiety & Stress (With Poppy Jamie)

AHA Publisher — Mon, 28 Jun 2021 07:00:50 +0000

Dr. Caroline Leaf – In this podcast (episode #287) and blog, I speak with Poppy Jamie, founder of Happy Not Perfect, a popular podcast and meditation app for anxiety. We discuss everything from understanding anxiety and the importance of self-compassion to the link between the mind, brain and body and how to own and manage panic attacks and anxiety. In her new book, Happy Not Perfect, Poppy talks about her own experiences with mental health and why we need to manage our perceptions of our own mental health. As she points out, there is an important difference between “flexible” and “stiff” thinking when it comes to mental health. If we feel that “this” is just the way we are and that we will never learn how to manage or heal our mental health, then we will be more likely to stay “stuck”. If, however, we have what Poppy calls “flexible thinking” (which may take time to learn), then we will be more open to finding ways to manage and heal our mind and we will see that it is possible to move on from where we are in life. This kind of thinking gives us the ability to choose how we want to respond to any given situation—we don’t just have to be pushed this way and that by life’s challenges. Indeed, we don’t have to wait till our problems are “bad enough” to seek mental health help. All of us deserve to live happy, fulfilled lives, and all of us battle at times to achieve this. There is no shame in seeking out help when we need it.We should never invalidate our own reality or compare our own mental health experiences to other people’s traumas. Pain has no hierarchy. Being human means struggling with your mental health. We all deserve to have our story heard and get the help we need. And, as soon as we acknowledge how we feel and start finding ways to manage our emotions, our emotions actually become more manageable, mentally and biologically! Research has shown that talking or writing about how we feel really can help us move through our emotions. If we just try to suppress how we feel, our emotions will eventually explode, possibly affecting other areas of our life. We all need to give ourselves permission to embrace our feelings AND to have “recovery time” after small and big stressors, even if this is something as commonplace as moving homes. As Poppy points out, we need to identify with our emotions, not become them. We may be experiencing depression, but we are not just a depressed person—this is not the sum total of who we are. This is especially true for people who seek perfection (like myself!). Perfectionists, overall, completely overestimate what they can do in a given time period, and this is often tied to people pleasing. By constantly saying yes to someone else, we are often saying no to ourselves and what we need, which can impact our mental wellbeing. We also need to seek out ways of managing our mental health that works for us. Meditation is not necessarily the cure for everything, for example. Sometimes, it can even be really unhelpful! A better way to approach mental health struggles is to understand how our mind works and the specific, toxic core beliefs that shape the way we understand and perceive the world, which is the basis of our psyche. We all need to get curious about our core beliefs. What shapes the way we perceive and interact with the world? How do these beliefs impact us? Do we need to challenge any of the core beliefs we have developed over the years? And, as Poppy notes, when it comes to mental health, we shouldn’t just focus on everything that can go wrong with our brain. We also need to recognize how incredible our mind and brain are, how they can grow, change and heal, and how they want to protect us and work for us. Often, we spend so much time creating our worlds that we forget that we need to spend time adapting to what we have created. We can start doing this by developing flexible thinking, which is based on what Poppy calls in her book “the four c’s”: Connection: taking the time to connect with how you feel and with your body. Curiosity: questioning yourself (especially your inner critic!) and your world. How does a thought you have make you feel? How do you speak to yourself? How much suffering is created in your mind? What lies are you believing about yourself? Choice: recognizing that change only happens when you really want it to. True change comes from within. Commitment: committing to your highest self and knowing where you are going. What do you want your best future to look like? To read the original article click here. For more articles from Dr. Leaf click here.

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