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Anxiety Natural Remedies: 15+ Ways to Relax & Find Calm

The AHA! Team — Mon, 09 Dec 2024 06:12:13 +0000

Dr. Josh Axe, DC, DNM, CN via Dr. Axe – Anxiety is a normal response to stress or a dangerous situation. It’s often referred to as the “fight or flight” response. Anxiety can be a disabling condition that’s accompanied by long-term stress and a decline in overall health. It contributes to many chronic diseases, even when treated with conventional medications. That’s why we need to use natural remedies for anxiety and other mood disorders that address the root of the problem instead of putting a Band-Aid on your anxiety symptoms. In fact, anxiety can affect people of all ages, with an estimated 31.1 percent of adults in U.S. experiencing symptoms at some point in their lives. In addition, 40 percent to 67 percent of people with anxiety experience signs of depression, which makes it an even more serious and difficult condition to treat properly, and the lifetime prevalence is estimated to be between 4.3 percent and 5.9 percent.. Research shows that people with anxiety have difficulty successfully achieving short- or long-term remission, with remission rates remaining as low as 38 percent after five years. The good news is that there are many natural remedies for anxiety that are safe and don’t cause adverse side effects like so many anti-anxiety medications. By eating a clean and well-balanced diet that contains important nutrients like B vitamins, magnesium and omega-3s, and using essential oils for anxiety, you may notice an immediate difference in your mood, energy levels and sleep patterns. Plus, there are many supplements and lifestyle changes that serve as natural remedies for anxiety as well. What Is Anxiety? Anxiety is a normal response to stress or a dangerous situation. It’s often referred to as the “fight or flight” response. It’s also the most prevalent mental health condition. Anxiety becomes problematic when it is constant or in reaction to inappropriate circumstances, which over time can negatively affect your day-to-day life. In fact, there are a number of anxiety disorders, including generalized anxiety disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, social anxiety disorder and panic disorder. Anxiety is also a big part of phobias and other issues, such as autophobia (the fear of being alone) and the Sunday scaries. Causes and Risk Factors Causes of anxiety include: stress traumatic life experiences thyroid problems dysfunctional serotonin excessive alcohol caffeine or sugar intake hormone imbalance In addition, research shows that risk factors for anxiety disorders include being female, experiencing stressful life events in childhood and adulthood, having a family history of mental health disorders, having limited economic resources, and being shy in childhood. Signs and Symptoms Although anxiety is characterized by excessive worrying and tension, other physical and psychological symptoms of anxiety can include: muscle tension chest tightness heart palpitations high blood pressure insomnia digestive problems panic attacks irritability difficulty concentrating restlessness sweating anxiousness inability to socialize Natural Remedies for Anxiety Diet 1. Eat a Clean and Well-Balanced Diet Several studies show that there is a connection between the diet choices and psychology, physiology and behavior. Dietary choices impact a person from the moment he or she is born to adult life. Consuming too many or too little calories can increase anxiety symptoms and other psychological or emotional disorders. Also, poor diet can lead to many anxiety symptoms, including moodiness, fatigue and abnormal blood sugar levels that cause nervousness and the jitters. A poor diet can also lead to weight gain, and this can impact your body image and bring on feelings of worthlessness and self-doubt. Eating anti-inflammatory foods can be a natural remedy for anxiety because they are important for neurotransmitters synthesizing and balancing your mood and stress response. In addition, it’s also important to eat healthy fats, unrefined carbohydrates and lean protein. To improve anxiety symptoms, make sure to add vitamin B foods, magnesium-rich foods, foods high in calcium and omega-3 foods — some of the best mood-boosting foods — to your diet too, including: wild-caught fish (like salmon, mackerel, tuna, white fish and herring) grass-fed beef organic chicken nutritional yeast eggs yogurt or kefir leafy greens (like spinach, kale, chard and collard greens) fresh vegetables (like celery, bok choy, broccoli, beets and artichokes) fresh fruits (like blueberries, pineapple, banana and figs) sea vegetables healthy fats (like avocado, coconut oil and olive oil) beans (such as black beans, adzuki beans, chickpeas and fava beans) legumes (like lentils and peas) nuts (such as walnuts, almonds and cashews) seeds (including flaxseeds, chia seeds, hemp seeds and pumpkin seeds) unrefined grains (like farro, quinoa and barley) 2. Avoid Sugary and Processed Foods Research shows that consuming foods that have a high glycemic index can contribute to anxiety and depression. Sugar and refined carbohydrates can give you blood sugar highs and lows throughout the day, increasing anxiety, nervousness and fatigue. These foods can cause mood swings and alter your energy levels, making it more difficult to get your anxiety symptoms under control. They also contribute to inflammation and alter your brain structure and neurotransmitter function. To maintain normal blood sugar levels and improve your anxiety symptoms, stay away from refined foods, including baked goods (like pastries and cookies), sweetened beverages, fast foods, fried foods, processed meat and refined grains (which can be found in cereals and packaged breads). One specific dietary option that covers many of these bases and may actually influence anxiety is the keto diet. Preliminary research in animals has found that following this high-fat, low-carb diet may result in a lowered risk for anxiety. 3. Limit Caffeine and Alcohol Too much caffeine or alcohol can increase anxiety symptoms like moodiness, nervousness and the jitters. A study published by the British Journal of Psychiatry found that abstinence from alcohol is associated with a lower risk of anxiety. To reduce anxiety, avoid alcohol completely, or limit your alcohol intake to one to three drinks per week — but no more than two at a time. Research also shows that consuming too much caffeine can induce anxiety symptoms, and people with panic disorder and social anxiety seem to be particularly sensitive to the effects of caffeine. Limit coffee or black tea to no more than one cup per day. Supplements 4. Ashwagandha Ashwagandha is an adaptogen herb that is often used as a natural remedy for anxiety because it helps stabilize the body’s response to stress. In a systematic review that assessed data on the effectiveness of ashwagandha as a treatment for anxiety, researchers found that most studies concluded with significant improvement in anxiety symptoms with ashwagandha therapy. However, ashwagandha is not only a stress reliever. It also protects the brain from degeneration, and it works to improve anxiety symptoms by destroying free radicals that cause damage to the brain and body. Research shows that ashwagandha helps improve focus, reduce fatigue and fight anxiety without the side effects of most anti-anxiety medications. 5. Kava Root Research shows that kava root can be used to treat anxiety because it’s a nonaddictive and non-hypnotic anxiolytic. Kava is used to improve mood, ease anxiety and boost sociability. It’s also used in homeopathy. It works by stimulating dopamine receptors and inducing euphoria. In fact, a randomized, controlled trial conducted in Australia found that kava can be considered a first-line therapy for generalized anxiety disorder, and it’s shown to be safe for people undergoing treatment. A meta-analysis reported by Cochrane that involved seven trials suggests that there are significant effects from kava treatment for anxiety with few side effects, which are all considered mild. Take kava under the guidance of your health care provider, as it can interact with certain medications. Also, do not consume alcohol if you are using kava, and be aware of the most common side effects, including headache, drowsiness and diarrhea. 6. 5-HTP (5-hydroxytryptophan) Supplementing with 5-HTP, which is synthesized from tryptophan (an essential amino acids that acts as a mood regulator), can help treat a number of issues that are associated with anxiety, including trouble sleeping, moodiness and headaches. 5-HTP increases serotonin, which is a calming neurotransmitter that transmits signals between the nerve cells and alters brain functions that regulate your mood and sleep patterns. Studies show that 5-HTP therapy is associated with a significant reduction in anxiety due to its calming effects. However, it’s important that you do not take 5-HTP with any prescription anti-anxiety or antidepressant medications. 7. GABA (Gamma aminobutyric acid) GABA is an amino acid that is responsible for decreasing anxiety in the nervous system, and it also helps relax your muscles. It’s used for a number of conditions in addition to relieving anxiety, including reducing PMS, relieving insomnia, stabilizing blood pressure, treating ADHD, burning fat and relieving pain. GABA is also an inhibitory neurotransmitter that can cause a sedative effect, helps regulate nerve cells and calms anxiety. Anti-anxiety drugs, like Xanax and Valium, work to increase the amount of GABA in the brain. There are GABA supplements available in your local health food or vitamin store. Another option is to use valerian root, which naturally increases your brain’s GABA level and helps calm anxiety. 8. Magnesium Magnesium plays many important roles in the body, and magnesium deficiency is one of the leading deficiencies in adults. If you’re struggling with anxiety, you may want to try taking a magnesium supplement. Magnesium helps relax your muscles and calm the nervous system. Also, it’s vital for GABA function and regulating certain hormones that are crucial for calming the brain and promoting relaxation. Magnesium is commonly used to combat anxiety, poor digestion, muscle spasms and trouble sleeping. Look for magnesium in citrate, chelate and chloride, which are forms that the body absorbs better. However, be aware that too much magnesium can cause diarrhea, so be careful with the dose. Because of this, start with smaller amounts of magnesium, and work your way up to a dose that’s effective for you. 9. Vitamin B Complex B vitamins help combat stress and stabilize your mood. Vitamin B6, in particular, serves as a natural remedy for anxiety because it works to boost mood, balance blood sugar levels and maintain a healthy nervous system. In fact, symptoms of a vitamin B6 deficiency include anxiety, irritability, depression, changes in mood, muscle pains and fatigue. In addition, vitamin B12 is also important for fighting chronic stress, mood disorders and depression. It helps improve your concentration and energy levels and allows your nervous system to function properly. Other supplements that show potential as natural remedies for anxiety include: Melatonin L-Theanine Lemon Balm Essential Oils 10. Lavender Oil Lavender oil has been shown to reduce anxiety and help relax the body. A multi-center, double-blind, randomized study conducted in Germany found that Silexan, an oral lavender oil capsule, was just as effective as benzodiazepine, anti-anxiety medication that usually induces sedation and had a high potential for drug abuse. Research also shows that using lavender oil topically or inhaling lavender can help induce calmness and relieve symptoms of anxiety, like nervousness, headaches and muscle pain. Put three drops of lavender oil in your palm, and rub it onto your neck, wrists and temples. You can also diffuse lavender oil at home or at work, inhale it directly from the bottle for immediate relief, or add five to 10 drops to warm bath water to fight anxiety naturally. 11. Roman Chamomile Roman chamomile essential oil is used to calm nerves and reduce anxiety because of its mild sedative and relaxation-promoting properties. Inhaling it works as an emotional trigger because the fragrance travels directly to the brain to help fight anxiety symptoms. A study published in Alternative Therapies in Health and Medicine found that when chamomile oil is taken orally, it causes a significant reduction of anxiety and depression symptoms when compared to a placebo. Diffuse five drops of Roman chamomile oil at home or at work, inhale it directly from the bottle, or apply it topically to the neck, chest and wrists. Roman chamomile is also gentle enough for children to use as a natural remedy for anxiety. Lifestyle 12. Physical Activity Regular physical activity helps improve sleep quality, reduce inflammation,...

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Dealing with Textxiety

AHA Publisher — Wed, 01 May 2024 05:00:43 +0000

Dr. Caroline Leaf – In this podcast (episode #566) and blog, I talk about how to manage texting anxiety (yes, it’s a thing!). I am sure you have had the experience where you see a text come through and your heart just sinks into your stomach.Texting anxiety is so real that it even has its own coined term, “textxiety“! Some people may worry that their messages will be misinterpreted or taken out of context. In fact, many people feel a sense of unease, worry, and stress when texting. Although this may sound strange, it is important to remember that texting is another form of communication—it makes sense that it could cause someone to feel a sense of anxiety. Some people may worry that their messages will be misinterpreted or taken out of context. They are concerned that the recipient will not understand the intended tone or meaning of their messages. For others, texting can create a sense of urgency; someone may feel pressured to respond immediately, which can lead to anxiety, especially when they are unable to reply promptly. In other cases, someone may obsessively review and revise their messages before sending them, fearing that any wording or phrasing could be problematic. This can add a lot of stress to a conversation. And some people may find texting stressful as they are not able to read the nonverbal cues that they rely on in face-to-face interactions. In other cases, someone may obsessively review and revise their messages before sending them.. If you are someone who battles with texting anxiety, I recommend using the Neurocycle mind management method I have developed and studied over the past three decades, which I discuss in detail in my book Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess and my app Neurocycle. It has 5 steps: Steps 1-3: gather, reflect and write down how you feel when a text comes in. Try to analyze why texting gives you anxiety. Take into account your emotions, behaviors, bodily sensations, and perspective when you receive a text. Sit with these feelings and write them down to help organize your thinking and bring clarity to the situation. Use who/what /when/where/why questions to find the pattern behind your reactions. Step 4: recheck. Once you feel like you understand the meaning behind your anxiety better, try to come up with solutions to alleviate the stress you feel when texting. This will take you to: Step 5: the active reach. This is a thought or action you need to practice daily to help you reconceptualize what you worked through in the previous step. What are you going to do each day to give yourself the time and mental space needed to deal with what is bothering you and turn this situation into something constructive? Here are some examples: Establish clear boundaries for when and how often you engage in texting. It’s okay to take breaks from your phone! Send a text to someone that you will reply to later when you get the chance in order to alleviate the stress that comes with feeling bad about not replying. Take a moment to think before responding, especially if the conversation is emotionally charged. Avoid rushing to reply when you’re upset or anxious! If certain individuals consistently cause text anxiety, consider blocking or muting their messages temporarily. This can provide relief and time for you to regroup. Be kind to yourself and recognize that it’s normal to make mistakes or experience anxiety in communication and texting is a form of communication just like any other! Remind yourself of this. If you can, put your phone on “Do Not Disturb” mode when you are working or at night when you are sleeping. Tell people that you do not answer texts during certain hours. Categorize your texts with colors and pictures, so that you know what to read first and what to leave until you feel better prepared. If a text is causing you a lot of anxiety, perhaps get someone else to read it first. Before opening a text, prepare yourself with breathing exercises or movement like yoga stretches to ground you. The key thing to remember that text anxiety is a pretty common experience. It is not something to be ashamed of! It’s okay to seek help or employ strategies to alleviate it. By incorporating these practices into your digital communication routine, you can make texting a less stressful and more enjoyable means of connecting with others. For more on texting anxiety, listen to my podcast (episode #566). Podcast Highlights 3:20 Text anxiety is a real thing! 5:30, 8:44 Signs that you may be experiencing text anxiety 13:00, 19:33 How to manage text anxiety This podcast and blog are for educational purposes only and are not intended as medical advice. We always encourage each person to make the decision that seems best for their situation with the guidance of a medical professional. To read the original article click here.

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The Anti-Anxiety Toolkit

AHA Publisher — Wed, 29 Jun 2022 07:00:20 +0000

Dr. Caroline Leaf – In this podcast (episode #386) and blog, I talk about what anxiety is and ways to manage it and prevent it from taking over your day-to-day life. There is a lot to be anxious and worried about these days. From the uncertainty of a global pandemic, to turbulent elections, worldwide protests, acts of violence and political infighting, it does at times seem like we are living through the Apocalypse! It is easy to feel overwhelmed, stressed out and fearful; indeed, these are normal human reactions to adverse events. However, the good news is that we don’t have to be controlled by these feelings. We can’t always control the circumstances of life, but we can learn to edit what has happened to us — we have the power to determine how these emotions impact us. In fact, everyone experiences a level of anxiety from time to time; this is completely normal. Often, there are times in our life where “stuff” accumulates, and it is okay to be anxious when this happens. However, if left unmanaged, this “stuff” can progress to a point where we feel so overwhelmed with anxiety that our ability to go about daily life is obstructed, especially if it results in debilitating anxiety or panic attacks. The key word here is “managed”. How we manage anxiety is, in large part, based on how we view anxiety. Managing anxiety means reframing those anxious thoughts when they arise. If we just see anxiety as a “disease” or “biochemical medical illness”, it can be pretty scary! It can even make us feel hopeless. The label alone can lock us in, potentially shaping the way we see ourselves and our capacity, or stigmatizing our biology—some people may view themselves as inherently lacking control and potentially unstable or even dangerous to themselves and others. But there is another way to reframe anxiety to mitigate and manage it, one that I believe is more hopeful, kinder and less stigmatizing. Anxiety can be seen as a warning signal—a helpful messenger. It is telling us there is something going on in our lives that needs attention; something is threatening our peace and survival. This framing points to the narrative that is related to our anxiety, or what has happened to make us feel this way, rather than just focusing on a biological root as the cause of our anxiety. Yes, this may sound great, but what happens when you are suddenly faced with some really bad news or you read something on social media that starts making you panic? In these moments, I have found that it is useful to have a worry-reducing toolbox with simple, everyday things you can do to help you control your fears and anxiety. Having these practical techniques at hand can really help you in the moment, especially when you can’t think clearly or don’t know what to do with yourself: 1. See your anxiety as a learning experience. When you’re experiencing intense, anxious feelings, it can be hard to feel in control and work through these emotions. One thing I always recommend (it’s not easy but so effective and gets better with practice!) is to ask yourself: “what can I learn from this?” or “What is this situation telling me about myself?” Simple questions like these can make the biggest difference when it comes to your mental health and resilience. This technique works really well if you use it along with another technique I call the multiple perspective advantage (MPA), where you objectively stand back and observe your own thinking as you ask, answer and discuss these two questions. This creates a strong, integrated energy flow throughout the brain that literally helps you see multiple ways of viewing a situation. 2. Distract yourself, temporarily! Yes, temporary distractions can be a good thing. They can give you the space you need to let your emotions calm down, which is especially necessary when you feel overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. In fact, it takes about 60-90 seconds for intense emotions to die down, so a distraction (like going for a run, doing yoga or reading a good novel) when you are feeling very anxious can be a good thing. But be careful! Distractions can become an issue when you find yourself turning to them a lot and using them to suppress what you feel and avoid dealing with the issue that drove you to the distraction. So, take a good look at the diversions in your life and ask yourself, “How am I using these distractions? Am I trying to avoid an issue? How can I better use distractions in my life?”. Commit to dealing with the issue once you are in a better mental space. 3. Don’t go to bed anxious. If you often feel very anxious at night, try writing down your thoughts and feelings before going to sleep. You don’t have to analyze or “fix” them—just get them down on paper! The simple act of writing things down often brings balance back in the brain and helps produce feel good chemicals like serotonin. Writing also makes things seem a little less scary and overwhelming. Indeed, one of the best things about writing is that it weakens the impact and hold that anxious thought have over you, in both your mind and brain! Some statements that can help you release this anxiety at night are: I did my best today and that is good enough. My level of productivity or checklist does not determine my self-worth. Tomorrow is another day for me to use my skills and talents to help others. Today I learned … and I am grateful for …. I am proud of myself for doing … today. My thoughts and feelings are temporary and will pass. 4. Have a game plan when you start getting WORRIED about the future. Worrying about the future tricks us into believing we can control the future. Worry is an understandable attempt to reduce uncertainty, but it can often cause more problems. For a healthier approach to uncertainty, step out of destructive worry and into constructive worry by doing the following: Identify which uncertainty is causing you the most fear. Create a game plan for the best and worse outcomes. Set a 5-minute timer to allow yourself to worry about something, so you don’t suppress it. Talk to someone you trust, such as a loved one or therapist. Remember, there is no shame in asking for help! 5. Surround yourself with people who help, not hurt, your mental wellbeing. Who you hang out with can hinder or help your emotional wellbeing. Remind yourself that it’s okay to surround yourself with people who are good for your mental health. Take note of how certain people make you feel, and take note of the people you are around when you are your happiest and truest self—these are the people who you need to be around more, especially when you feel very anxious or fearful! Remember, it’s not only okay to put up boundaries, it’s essential. It’s okay to say no to certain engagements. It’s okay to end a relationship that makes you anxious or upset all the time. It’s okay to move on. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to take breaks from certain people. It’s okay to make yourself a priority! 6. Respond, don’t react. Learn to respond, not just react, to your anxious thoughts and feelings. What’s the difference between responding and reacting? Responding means pausing between the stimulus and the action. It enables you to use that pause to evaluate what a beneficial or harmful response will look like. Reacting, on the other hand, is impulsive. Just reacting to what you are thinking or feeling in the moment gives more energy to the anxious structures and neurons in the brain. A great way to make responding, not reacting, a habit is to stop and breathe for 60-90 seconds before responding to something (especially an anxious thought!), which will give your emotions time to calm down so you can self-regulate your thinking and ask yourself what your thoughts and feelings are trying to tell you. If you make this a conscious and deliberate practice, it will become easier over time, improving relationships and mental health! 7. Shift your attention. Although it is important that you acknowledge your anxiety, don’t dwell on it. For every anxious thought you have, try to think about three positive things. These positive thoughts should not be something vague like “just be happy.” They should include specific things that make you joyful, like things you are grateful for in your life, what you appreciate, what makes you laugh, and what makes you feel content. What is great about this 3:1 ratio is that you don’t have to suppress your worry or try to have an unrealistic, “happy-all-the-time” life. You don’t have to feel guilt or shame when you think anxious thoughts. Indeed, you need to allow room for negative thoughts in your life, as they can help you prepare for worst-case scenarios, deal with the past and keep you grounded. However, these negative thoughts need to be balanced with the good, so that they don’t become the dominant structure in your brain. Remember: what you think about the most will grow! These are just a few great tips you can use in the moment to help you control and deal with your anxiety. You can write them down, set them as a reminder on your phone, post them around the house or on your fridge, or create a “worry box” that you can pull out when you are feeling very anxious or fearful. Most importantly, remember that your worry or anxiety does not define you. We demonstrated in our most recent clinical trial that you can become empowered to feel in control of your mind, which can increase your feelings of control over your anxiety by up to 81%. See worry and anxiety as signals telling you something is going on around you or in your life that needs attention, not as something to fear or suppress. These techniques can help you get to a place where you can address the roots of your fear and anxiety, so that it no longer has power over you or your thinking! To read the original article click here.

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How Over-Explaining is Linked to Trauma + Strategies to Find the Root & Heal

AHA Publisher — Thu, 16 Sep 2021 07:00:23 +0000

Dr. Caroline Leaf – In this podcast (episode #314) and blog, Dr. Leaf talks about how over-explaining and over-sharing can be trauma responses, and how they impact the way we function. I decided to speak about this topic because of the many responses I got to a social media post I recently put up: “Over-explaining is a common trauma response for those who were often made to feel at fault as a child. At one point, the desire to people-please provided safety. But, please know, what happened is not your fault, and it’s not your job to regulate other people’s emotional states.” Over-explaining means describing something to an excessive degree, whereas oversharing is the disclosure of an inappropriate amount of information and detail about your personal life. These fall under the fawn trauma response (see podcast #302 for more information on the different trauma responses). We often do this non-consciously to try to control the anxiety we experience in the moment, which is a signal that has a root. This thought “root” is what we need to find, or the uncomfortable feelings we experience won’t stop. If we don’t get to the root of the thought, we will use us a lot of mental energy trying to manage these feelings and other peoples’ impressions of us, which can be a pretty thankless and exhausting task! Why do we do this? 1. Over explaining (O/E thinking): You might be doing this to keep yourself safe, which could be a sign that you have a toxic thought tree that is dominating your thinking, and the root system is some sort of abusive relationship that happened in your past. The only way you managed to cope during that time was a fawning trauma response, which is now no longer sustainable in your life, as it has affected your ability to trust yourself and your self-confidence. You may also slip into an over-explaining response if you have been gaslit. This can make you feel like you must say a lot, and/or say things in different ways, so that the person gaslighting you can’t distort your words and make you look bad by using what you say against you. It could also be that you are trying to make people understand where you are coming from, and you feel the need to use a prefacing comment or story as a protective barrier to make people see your reasoning. You may feel the need to justify yourself or your decisions to make someone accept who you are and how you think, which is also a trauma root that you will need to work on. You could also be trying to keep the peace, and over-explain as a result. Perhaps you tend to over-explain because someone in your past made you feel everything is your fault, no matter what, and you feel the need to defend yourself, or it may bother you if you disappoint someone in your life and you use over-explaining to compensate. You could be thinking out loud, or have had a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and need more words to explain yourself. (I had many patients who did this.) You may see over-explaining as a way to be honest or to boost another person’s emotional state. It could also be that you are a chattier person, especially when you feel you can contribute to the situation, and, once stimulated, you talk too much. The important thing here is mind-management; learn to self-regulate your responses and how you process how other people react to you, and adjust accordingly. Oversharing (O/S thinking): Many of the roots are similar to why we tend to over-explain, which I described briefly above. Sometimes oversharing is also the result of a misguided attempt to gain sympathy. If you share your mistakes to help others, you are being authentic; if you share too much to gain sympathy, then you are oversharing. If you feel like you tend to over-explain or over-share, there is hope! You can work on this by doing a 5-step Neurocycle over 63 days to uncover the root of the thought and work on rewiring your brain. This is the mind-management system I have developed over the past 38 years and is based on my research and practice. (I discuss this in detail in my book Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess, my app Neurocycle and in my recent clinical trials.) The 5 steps are: 1. Gather: O/E = Start with something recent that happened to you and observe your thinking. Did you apologize a lot? Battle to say no? Feel the need to give lots of detail so that the other person understood you? Did you over-anticipate how this person will respond when you set a boundary? Or perhaps focus on the worst-case scenario? O/S = Think of ways you tend to overshare. Do you perhaps post intimate details about your relationships, friendships, family matters and personal drama online? Use social media to vent your frustrations? How do you overshare? How does this make you feel emotionally and physically? Remind yourself that oversharing doesn’t create intimacy; it can be a sign of self-absorption that is masked as “vulnerability”. 2. Reflect: Ask, answer and discuss what you gathered in step 1 to get to the core of what you are doing, why, and the impact this is having on your life and relationships. 3. Write: Write down your reflections to help organize your thinking and gain more clarity into what is going on in your life. 4. Recheck : How you can see this in a different way; what is your thought “antidote”? 5. Practice your new way of thinking every day using the active reach: Some examples of good active reaches are: Practicing being patient with yourself. Celebrating in the moment when you do set a boundary WITHOUT chronicling your reasoning for it in painstaking detail. Learning to sit with the discomfort of disappointing others. You can’t please everyone—the one person you should always prioritize is yourself! Giving yourself permission to feel whatever feelings surface when you say “no”. Reminding yourself of times you did assert a boundary, and how things didn’t end up as badly as you expected them to be. Practicing mind-management, where you self-regulate your reaction to other people, and adjust accordingly. Using use the Neurocycle to do brain-building daily to help improve your mental resilience. For more on this check out my podcast on brain-building. To read the original article click here.

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